Hey y’all, long time no see! A little less than a year to be precise. But I’m back again with an important announcement. Spoiler alert – you’re going to hear a lot from me in the weeks to come.
Now, you’ve all subscribed to this blog, because of my poetry. But the ones that follow me from the start may remember one detail. The first time when I dared share any of my writing publicly was back in the end of 2020. And it was the feedback from this post that pushed me to write my first and only poetry collection up to date.
The reason why I made my pieces public then was to generate attention towards Movember – a charity that has been very dear to me for years. I’ve donated every single year since 2018 and even grew a Mo’ the following one (No kidding, see cringy pic here).
Will I do it again this Movember? Well, that depends on you, but MO’re on that later, heh. Mo puns aside, this time I’ve set myself a different challenge – write on mental health. I’ll open up myself and give the best advice that I’m capable of.
But why am I doing this?
Every hour 60 men around the world take their own lives. Yup, in the time it took you to read up until here, one man has likely committed suicide. Yet, this is entirely preventable. And I want to give my small share to help bring those numbers down. Because I have had my own struggles recently and I know mental health ain’t no joke.
Earlier this year I was battling something that felt way bigger than me. Ironically, that was myself. Following a series of tough life events, one evening suddenly my pulse exceeded 200+ BPM, couldn’t really breathe, hands felt numb and my mind seemed to be totally disconnected from my body and my surroundings.
I thought I was getting a heart attack. Except it wasn’t. It was a panic attack. And it is something I would experience over and over, sometimes multiple times a day, for about three months.
It came in the most inappropriate, yet, as I would later find, entirely predictable situations. Some of them included every time I got in a bus/a plane/a car someone else was driving, when I was meeting new people, while being in business meetings, etc. My most embarrassing one was on the Easter dinner (though nobody noticed), just because there were quite a few people I hadn’t met before.
See the trend? It only came in situations when I felt out of control1. Good, so avoid those. Here’s the problem, though. I can’t avoid them forever. My life would have just been completely dysfunctional – no travelling, no theatres, no social gatherings that include new people, etc.
Furthermore, after each attack I would feel utterly drained both physically and mentally. My body felt like I had just completed an Ironman and my mind was in such a fog that I could hardly be productive in any way. So I had to do something.
You don’t have to learn to live with what you can’t rise above
Even though life was terrible for several months due to my daily panic attacks, I managed to break the cycle at the end of May, and I’m proud to say that pretty soon after that I no longer needed to avoid anything. I was able to return back to being me. And I certainly grew a lot as a man in the process. Though I still sometimes feel some brief flashes of anxiety, I’ve never had any panic attacks since.
Having spoken to a lot of people about it and having read a lot on the topic, I realise that what I experienced ain’t in no way unique. Tens of millions around the world have had a panic attack, some of them on the regular. Make that number somewhere in the billions if you add the ones who have struggled with anxiety, which I’d say is kind of like a step or a few below having a panic attack. However, many people never manage to break the cycle. They simply accept it and some even turn to medications.
As someone who has been there and managed to ‘fix myself’, if you will, relatively easily, I believe I’ll be able to help others achieve the same. That is regardless of the more common mental health issues you might experiencing, the principles I have found to be working are more or less the same. And laying them out in depth is exactly what I’ll try to do over the next 4 weeks.
My commitment for Movember 2023
In previous years I have supported the cause by growing a Mo (though briefly), and moved for mental health. This year I opted to Mo my own way and choose my own adventure. And I think that through writing and sharing my own experience I could have far more impact than in any other way. Even if I do not raise any money for the campaign through doing so, I would still contribute in my own modest way to make make mental health better. Not just for men as well.
Until the end of November I will create a separate post about each one of the 4 pillars that I believe you must work on in order to improve any common mental health condition you are struggling with (whether it be a panic attack, anxiety or depression).
These are the following – Body, Mind, Relationship with yourself, Relationship with others. I’m obliged to say that all sections will include personal tips that found through reading and experience to be universally applicable, but they are in no way medical advice.
And remember, I’m still working hard on all 4 myself. So we’ll be in this together *pinky promise*.
Wait, what about the Mo?
Well, right… You’ll have to work for this one. After all, Movember’s end goal is not growing a moustache for the sake of it. It’s funding different projects around the world that focus on mental health, testicular and prostate cancer.
So I decided that if you want to see me rock a Mo’, you’ll have to support the cause first. I’ve set the bar pretty low – hit €100 in donations before November 30th and I’ll do it.
And if you really want to help, you can also join my team and do any of the following – 1) Mo your way and get creative with your own challenge, 2) Run 60 km in November for the 60 men that take their life every hour, 3) Well, a moustache!
Thanks for reading until here and cheers for the support!
Cheers and see you soon!
Note that this is what I found to be my own trigger. Hate to break it to you, but that’s not uniform. You’ll have to find your own by yourself.
Love the transparency.
This will be useful to so many people.
Huge respect and admiration for doing this Hammer <3