Sinking Out Loud

A Poem From My Notebook

I may be working on "Written by a Poem", but that doesn’t stop me from spontaneously creating some unrelated pieces.

Here’s something I scribbled this week as an exercise.

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Behind The Lines

• Title wordplay

Although the poem is abstract enough to be understood in more ways than one, the idea I had in mind can be captured in a single word – Overthinking.

I was looking for a wordplay to hint at the topic without directly saying it and I guess that would do.

• A line that inspired me

“The secrets of the sea are forgotten on the shores”
- Georgios Seferis, Erotikos Logos

The topic of Seferis’ poem is quite different, but I borrowed this line, because I saw how it could fit what I’m trying to say here.

The small tweak also communicates an entirely different thing (forgotten vs dead). However, that’s where the idea initiated from and I thought it’s worth sharing.

• “Tenseplay” (not even a real word) to communicate my message

Do you notice how the whole poem is in present tense, except for the line right before the end, which switches to past tense?

My point was to hint that we’re speaking about the exact same man who just “died“ (however you may understand it) and was caught in this cycle.

• Sinking line effect

One detail that’s hard to miss is the main line being repeated in different variations across all 4 stanzas, but every time it sinks ever lower right to the bottom.

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Until next time, may your life rhyme ✍️,

Vanauthor
​Currently working on "Written by a Poem"
Author of "16 Bullets and a Bouquet"